A couple of days ago a friend posted something like "Oh man, I thought I had finished the game but there's another one. My illusions are soon to be gone." And, it made me think "what a coward" in the most respectful way, but honestly, why should one loose the illusion for something that they supposedly loved and not want to continue it anymore? (I'm not talking about video games anymore, I'm talking general; everyday-life) Do they simply just give up? Or is it because they don't want to work as hard or even harder to get to a higher level in life?
Why only give 90% when you can give 110%? really. Is one satisfied with a 90%? Yes, but it is more ecstatic knowing that you gave your 110% and being notified with it you feel like nothing can destroy you and then sometimes you feel like you can give even more. So, once again I ask: Why just feel satisfied with just a 90% when you know so that you can give even more, if you actually have a passion for it as you try to convince yourself?
People tell us all the time to "aim for the stars" or we even hear them in movie scripts, or even in lyrics... though, it seems that lately no one thinks or bothers on echoing those words anymore, now in days. You can tell a lot from a person when they are looking up at the sky, they are not just thinking but there is no barriers in the sky, there is nothing there to disturb you and all you can wish for it to reach the sky, reach the sky till where? Who knows! that's why those people think big, they go forward, always giving more of themselves than they can ever imagine.
I wonder if it's because of fear too? The one thing that over powers us all the time and that makes us "... Trip fast and then I lose and I hate looking like a fool" -Kate Nash "Pumpkin Soup" Well, we all hate looking like a fool, but the "kudos" isn't for anyone else, "kudos" are for you and only for you. YOU are the one who decides your own destiny, YOU are the one who puts your own limits, YOU decide if you want to triumph, and if you want to triumph you must fall once, twice or three times until you get it right, but never give up if you aspire it so much. Those whom know what they want in life they will receive in their hands if they works towards it, nothing falls on your hands just-because, it's because you have done something either right or wrong, and by "right" or "wrong" I mean it in a very relative way, everyone had their own concept of right and wrong, but think about it; you would want something you don't want, you want something if always wanted and it will be given to you.
It's hard not to be afraid, but the effort counts when you risk it and when you feel like doing that again it's because it will come out right. Nothing can go perfect, we all need to fall to learn how to get back on our feet and move forward, but things can get better along the way when you risk it, take a chance in life and see how it turns out... if that's what you really want.
So, my advice to you guys today is this: Break your cage, get out, explore, and hunt for what you want. You may not get it the first time, but the next couple of times you will surely get it.
P.S. I am terribly sorry for not being able to post yesterday, I was swamped with two prolonged task's.
Have a good evening =)
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Water.
Feeling cool water, it's soft and makes wonderful noises when you move it around.
It brings peace, serenity and even beauty.
I love staying in calm and comforting water,
Still, silent and all you can hear was whispers.
Wrapping you and even going through you. We where created in water, we lived in water
we where nourished in water.
It reflects you.
Why does thaw not care to waste what gave us life?
It brings peace, serenity and even beauty.
I love staying in calm and comforting water,
Still, silent and all you can hear was whispers.
Wrapping you and even going through you. We where created in water, we lived in water
we where nourished in water.
It reflects you.
Why does thaw not care to waste what gave us life?
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
"You get what you give"
Considering that I didn't get much sleep last night (only 4 hours) I feel pretty darn good, too good, I'd say. Today I've concluded that this is what I want, be a Fashion Designer, without a doubt.
So, that wasn't the only highlight of the day. Today I felt extremely happy for what I have now; new friends (they are fantastic! I love them), the teachers are fantastic... most of them, haha but I've also realized that I am very happy with myself, with whom I am and what I want and it's the first time that I really appreciate myself, I never gave credit to myself when I did deserve it but now I have been and it really has made me notice that I can still go higher. I'm the only one who puts limits on my thoughts, no one else, but we need those who can stimulate us and unblock some of those barriers to go higher, to give the best of our selves.
I am very satisfied. I'm glad.
Now, what I really wanted to talk about...
I talked to one of my teachers and told him how awesome he was and his replay was "I am your mirror. The way you see me you see your self", he told me that a teacher of his had told him that too and he's totally right. We choose those whom we want to be friends with because they have something that we have and love about ourselves though, we never do think about it, we just go with it and sometimes we want to posses what ever it is that person has and that's why we stick around, to learn it, in a way. All this we do it unconsciously but when someone points it out it makes so much sense.
And then, somehow related to this subject we started talking about karma, and that what ever you give or transmit will get back to you, which lead me to think that I always give money away, but in the sense that when someone is in need of it I try to help them with what I have and I believe that is why I find so much money on the streets, so much that I have found 500 bucks. That's right. First I wanted to find the owner of that money, because I would have been pissed if someone just took 'em like that without the effort of even looking for the owner of all that money, and so, in a week no one claimed them so, it was given to me and I didn't use it to shop for cloths or CD's, I used it for school supplies all the way.
And then I hear the song "you get what you give" by New Radicals on the radio, which was no coincidence, I was meant to hear that song and really think about it. So, here's a link to the video and the lyrics will be posted right under the link.
New Radicals- You get what you give
So, that wasn't the only highlight of the day. Today I felt extremely happy for what I have now; new friends (they are fantastic! I love them), the teachers are fantastic... most of them, haha but I've also realized that I am very happy with myself, with whom I am and what I want and it's the first time that I really appreciate myself, I never gave credit to myself when I did deserve it but now I have been and it really has made me notice that I can still go higher. I'm the only one who puts limits on my thoughts, no one else, but we need those who can stimulate us and unblock some of those barriers to go higher, to give the best of our selves.
I am very satisfied. I'm glad.
Now, what I really wanted to talk about...
I talked to one of my teachers and told him how awesome he was and his replay was "I am your mirror. The way you see me you see your self", he told me that a teacher of his had told him that too and he's totally right. We choose those whom we want to be friends with because they have something that we have and love about ourselves though, we never do think about it, we just go with it and sometimes we want to posses what ever it is that person has and that's why we stick around, to learn it, in a way. All this we do it unconsciously but when someone points it out it makes so much sense.
And then, somehow related to this subject we started talking about karma, and that what ever you give or transmit will get back to you, which lead me to think that I always give money away, but in the sense that when someone is in need of it I try to help them with what I have and I believe that is why I find so much money on the streets, so much that I have found 500 bucks. That's right. First I wanted to find the owner of that money, because I would have been pissed if someone just took 'em like that without the effort of even looking for the owner of all that money, and so, in a week no one claimed them so, it was given to me and I didn't use it to shop for cloths or CD's, I used it for school supplies all the way.
And then I hear the song "you get what you give" by New Radicals on the radio, which was no coincidence, I was meant to hear that song and really think about it. So, here's a link to the video and the lyrics will be posted right under the link.
New Radicals- You get what you give
Wake up kids
We've got the dreamers disease
Age 14 we got you down on your knees
So polite, you're busy still saying please
Fri - enemies, who when you're down ain't your friend
Every night we smash their Mercedes - Benz
First we run and then we laugh till we cry
But when the night is falling
And you cannot find the light
If you feel your dream is dying
Hold tight
You've got the music in you
Don't let go
You've got the music in you
One dance left
This world is gonna pull through
Don't give up
You've got a reason to live
Can't forget you only get what you give
Four a. m. we ran a miracle mile
Were flat broke but hey we do it in style
The bad rich
God's flying in for your trial
This whole damn world can fall apart
You'll be ok follow your heart
You're in harms way
I'm right behind
Now say youre mine
Fly high
What's real can't die
You only get what you give
Just dont be afraid to leave
Health insurance rip off lying FDA big bankers buying
Fake computer crashes dining
Cloning while they're multiplying
Fashion mag shoots
With the aid of 8 dust brothers Beck, Hanson
Courtney Love and Marilyn Manson
You're all fakes
Run to your mansions
Come around
We'll kick your ass in!
Don't let go
One dance left
{unsaid lyrics from liner}
Championed by a soulless media misleading
People unaware they're bleeding
No one with a brain is believing
It's so sad you lost the meaning
Never knew it anyway
Human natures so predictable
I'm a fool to do your dirty work whoa, whoa
We've got the dreamers disease
Age 14 we got you down on your knees
So polite, you're busy still saying please
Fri - enemies, who when you're down ain't your friend
Every night we smash their Mercedes - Benz
First we run and then we laugh till we cry
But when the night is falling
And you cannot find the light
If you feel your dream is dying
Hold tight
You've got the music in you
Don't let go
You've got the music in you
One dance left
This world is gonna pull through
Don't give up
You've got a reason to live
Can't forget you only get what you give
Four a. m. we ran a miracle mile
Were flat broke but hey we do it in style
The bad rich
God's flying in for your trial
This whole damn world can fall apart
You'll be ok follow your heart
You're in harms way
I'm right behind
Now say youre mine
Fly high
What's real can't die
You only get what you give
Just dont be afraid to leave
Health insurance rip off lying FDA big bankers buying
Fake computer crashes dining
Cloning while they're multiplying
Fashion mag shoots
With the aid of 8 dust brothers Beck, Hanson
Courtney Love and Marilyn Manson
You're all fakes
Run to your mansions
Come around
We'll kick your ass in!
Don't let go
One dance left
{unsaid lyrics from liner}
Championed by a soulless media misleading
People unaware they're bleeding
No one with a brain is believing
It's so sad you lost the meaning
Never knew it anyway
Human natures so predictable
I'm a fool to do your dirty work whoa, whoa
Monday, September 20, 2010
New blog!
Hi everyone! Well, been checking my stats and I am very happy with my progress, I've been getting more and more visitors, I'm over 650 views ever since I opened up my blog, meaning in only 3 months I got over 650 views and they keep increasing as each day goes by.
My number one viewer is Mexico with 290 views and second place is USA with 280 (moved up a lot) views and Canada moved up in third place with 40 views. Thank you very much for reading my blog.
Now, the big news, I have created another blog where I am to express my dreams as they are and how ever I remember them. I will not change a thing in them. You have the right to write comments in that blog as well and, I hope it is of your interest, if not, I'll keep on posting here, as usual, every Wednesday and Sunday =)
Here is the link to my new blog: Unconscious
Take care everyone and thank you once again.
My number one viewer is Mexico with 290 views and second place is USA with 280 (moved up a lot) views and Canada moved up in third place with 40 views. Thank you very much for reading my blog.
Now, the big news, I have created another blog where I am to express my dreams as they are and how ever I remember them. I will not change a thing in them. You have the right to write comments in that blog as well and, I hope it is of your interest, if not, I'll keep on posting here, as usual, every Wednesday and Sunday =)
Here is the link to my new blog: Unconscious
Take care everyone and thank you once again.
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Thee "half orange"
The cheese to your macaroni, the spaghetti and meatball, your other half. I wonder many, many times if we are all destined to have someone with us for ever till the day we die, someone to complete us? How can we know for sure that it is that person whom belongs with us? Or do we simply just take a chance and see what happens? But some people say that they had a feeling that they found true love, I wonder what is that feeling.
I begin to wonder too, more than anything, if I have ever loved someone? And not the kind of love that I'd search with my family, I'm talking about the kind of love where two people give in to each other even though sometimes they can hate their guts but non the less they are there for each other, no matter what.
Are someone people destined not to have a life partner at all what so ever? Or can someone have two life partners and not know it at all? Do they also come in different ages?
... What is a life partner?. Someone who will walk with you through the rest of your life journey or someone just there to guide you?
I also wonder if it's because we need them so we do not get lost along the way and those that don't ever have a life partner is because they don't need guidance... ????????
Am I complete or do I really need my "other half" to "feel" complete?
A lot of these questions are very much unanswered and no matter how many people give different explanations to each of these questions (or some) they will never be true except for those that give their own answer.
Love is different for all and each one is unique because it is two unique people in union to make a unique union. Things can be similar, but never an exact replica.
I desire thaw that makes me aspire life, the risks in it and feel like there are no limits to my horizons. I strongly believe now that my mission here (Mexico) is done and am fully prepped to move on else where... unless, this is another tricky equation from life to give me the unexpected, you know what they say "When you least expect it, expect it". Well, right now I am least-expecting everything. I am blind to where I am going or what is coming towards me, but I trust it will all be good.
Who knows. Life, as it is, has always been unexpected. I shall see what happens.
P.S. And yes, I got over lasts post. It was just a moment of weakness and anger and stuff. Today I got good news from my aunt grandma *sigh* it's a relief.
I begin to wonder too, more than anything, if I have ever loved someone? And not the kind of love that I'd search with my family, I'm talking about the kind of love where two people give in to each other even though sometimes they can hate their guts but non the less they are there for each other, no matter what.
Are someone people destined not to have a life partner at all what so ever? Or can someone have two life partners and not know it at all? Do they also come in different ages?
... What is a life partner?. Someone who will walk with you through the rest of your life journey or someone just there to guide you?
I also wonder if it's because we need them so we do not get lost along the way and those that don't ever have a life partner is because they don't need guidance... ????????
Am I complete or do I really need my "other half" to "feel" complete?
A lot of these questions are very much unanswered and no matter how many people give different explanations to each of these questions (or some) they will never be true except for those that give their own answer.
Love is different for all and each one is unique because it is two unique people in union to make a unique union. Things can be similar, but never an exact replica.
I desire thaw that makes me aspire life, the risks in it and feel like there are no limits to my horizons. I strongly believe now that my mission here (Mexico) is done and am fully prepped to move on else where... unless, this is another tricky equation from life to give me the unexpected, you know what they say "When you least expect it, expect it". Well, right now I am least-expecting everything. I am blind to where I am going or what is coming towards me, but I trust it will all be good.
Who knows. Life, as it is, has always been unexpected. I shall see what happens.
P.S. And yes, I got over lasts post. It was just a moment of weakness and anger and stuff. Today I got good news from my aunt grandma *sigh* it's a relief.
Friday, September 17, 2010
Death and Lies.
Those two things have been roaming my mind for quite some time now... I fear the whereabouts of my aunt-grandmother, she has pneumonia and her heart is working too hard right now, stressing. Although I hate to think of the worst I must accept that... that this IS life. I want her to get better, I want to keep asking her story's about my ancestors, she knows 'em so well and each time she tells me a new story it amazes me more and more.
The other reason why I've thought of death is because a very old friend of mine (of which I've seen a day ago, for the first time after 5 years of not seeing nor talking to each other) is afraid to have a dog by the fact that he cannot stand the pain of loss. And, I agree, the pain of loss is tremendous, horrid, unbearable, but it does not mean that we should give up in things that make us passionate and vigorous for it is what makes us unique people, but many of us loose it thinking that it would be pointless without that person or pet, what ever it may be.
Fear does blind us, it blinds our vision, judgment, emotions... fear makes us not want to take a chance in life: "I am passionate and honest with my feelings" and so I keep nothing to myself, for me it is pointless to keep your feelings trapped and abandoned, I know that our feelings are strong and in tune, and we must learn to separate our feelings from reason; reason is only good for proof, material things, nothing more, and our feelings go further more than reason, feelings perceive what isn't material, what we call "relative".
It makes me so very sad that many people are lost in reason and don't know how to get in touch with their feelings, but it also makes me sad that people use feelings as to only detect fear. Everyone wants proof, the existing in material. There is no more balance between good and evil, positive and negative, love and fear... people have developed what we call "paranoia", people don't trust anymore, they don't give them selves fully anymore because of fear, fear of what has been done to them once before and "never" to repeat again. I am not saying that we should ignore our failures, failures are our greatest successes and just because you fell once doesn't mean that you can fall again because of the same situation, we must keep on trying until we get it right. Try in different ways, angles, points of views, there is always more than one way to succeed.
I will not allow the fear of my past blind me for what I can experience in my present and only of my present because the thought of a future can also lead us to fear. We must live only today and this moment, not any other time. It is HERE and NOW.
Lies are a product of fear, how many times have we lied when we are asked "how are you?" and how many times have we lied to our supposed loved ones to "protect" them from a truth that will hurt them and that non the less they would anyways find out one way or another and make things worse...
I've lied to my feelings many times and even to someone I used to love deeply, I thought that I was protecting us but things got worse and I repent deeply buy not being able to be true to myself, by living a lie that I didn't think could exist. I feared to loose that person and so I lied, I became a person I couldn't recognize anymore and that wasn't me.
I feel a terrible knot in the pit of my stomach knowing that so many people around me are afraid of their past and wouldn't want it to repeat it self. The knot has moved up to my throat and I know that it is because I have the need of crying. I very much wish I can help those around me, but there is only so much I can do, the rest is up to them and I have no right to contradict them, it is their decision. All I want to do is speak my mind and feelings. I don't want to suppress myself anymore, though, the more I express myself the freer I feel but at the very same time the more enslaved I am to my feelings.
I sometimes just want to grab those people and smack 'em out of it, open their eyes, make 'em realize that not everything is evil and for them not to be afraid of. I just don't want to be someone to be feared of anymore, and I don't mean the kind of fear where I'll do something "bad", what I am trying to say is that I don't want people rejecting me anymore because they don't know how to deal with their fear; fight it.
What about Daniel Ilabaca's phrase: "We fall because we are scared". NO SHIT! I use that phrase for those that are just a fucking misery in life and they nod their fucking heads and yet they don't do shit about their fucking lives! I am mad that people don't get to their senses and smack themselves for once in their stupid life and ask themselves "What in fuck's earth am I doing with my dumb life?"...
I don't even want to continue this post, it makes me cry in anger, literally.
I just may not post on Sunday, as I usually do.
Goodnight, it's fucking 3: 06 AM and I am fucking tired.
The other reason why I've thought of death is because a very old friend of mine (of which I've seen a day ago, for the first time after 5 years of not seeing nor talking to each other) is afraid to have a dog by the fact that he cannot stand the pain of loss. And, I agree, the pain of loss is tremendous, horrid, unbearable, but it does not mean that we should give up in things that make us passionate and vigorous for it is what makes us unique people, but many of us loose it thinking that it would be pointless without that person or pet, what ever it may be.
Fear does blind us, it blinds our vision, judgment, emotions... fear makes us not want to take a chance in life: "I am passionate and honest with my feelings" and so I keep nothing to myself, for me it is pointless to keep your feelings trapped and abandoned, I know that our feelings are strong and in tune, and we must learn to separate our feelings from reason; reason is only good for proof, material things, nothing more, and our feelings go further more than reason, feelings perceive what isn't material, what we call "relative".
It makes me so very sad that many people are lost in reason and don't know how to get in touch with their feelings, but it also makes me sad that people use feelings as to only detect fear. Everyone wants proof, the existing in material. There is no more balance between good and evil, positive and negative, love and fear... people have developed what we call "paranoia", people don't trust anymore, they don't give them selves fully anymore because of fear, fear of what has been done to them once before and "never" to repeat again. I am not saying that we should ignore our failures, failures are our greatest successes and just because you fell once doesn't mean that you can fall again because of the same situation, we must keep on trying until we get it right. Try in different ways, angles, points of views, there is always more than one way to succeed.
I will not allow the fear of my past blind me for what I can experience in my present and only of my present because the thought of a future can also lead us to fear. We must live only today and this moment, not any other time. It is HERE and NOW.
Lies are a product of fear, how many times have we lied when we are asked "how are you?" and how many times have we lied to our supposed loved ones to "protect" them from a truth that will hurt them and that non the less they would anyways find out one way or another and make things worse...
I've lied to my feelings many times and even to someone I used to love deeply, I thought that I was protecting us but things got worse and I repent deeply buy not being able to be true to myself, by living a lie that I didn't think could exist. I feared to loose that person and so I lied, I became a person I couldn't recognize anymore and that wasn't me.
I feel a terrible knot in the pit of my stomach knowing that so many people around me are afraid of their past and wouldn't want it to repeat it self. The knot has moved up to my throat and I know that it is because I have the need of crying. I very much wish I can help those around me, but there is only so much I can do, the rest is up to them and I have no right to contradict them, it is their decision. All I want to do is speak my mind and feelings. I don't want to suppress myself anymore, though, the more I express myself the freer I feel but at the very same time the more enslaved I am to my feelings.
I sometimes just want to grab those people and smack 'em out of it, open their eyes, make 'em realize that not everything is evil and for them not to be afraid of. I just don't want to be someone to be feared of anymore, and I don't mean the kind of fear where I'll do something "bad", what I am trying to say is that I don't want people rejecting me anymore because they don't know how to deal with their fear; fight it.
What about Daniel Ilabaca's phrase: "We fall because we are scared". NO SHIT! I use that phrase for those that are just a fucking misery in life and they nod their fucking heads and yet they don't do shit about their fucking lives! I am mad that people don't get to their senses and smack themselves for once in their stupid life and ask themselves "What in fuck's earth am I doing with my dumb life?"...
I don't even want to continue this post, it makes me cry in anger, literally.
I just may not post on Sunday, as I usually do.
Goodnight, it's fucking 3: 06 AM and I am fucking tired.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Cigar Review: Perdomo 2 Limited Edition (2008)
Ring Gauge: 56 Time started: 5:04, End time: 6:30
Size: 6" Weather: Cloudy.
Drink: Port Wine
Wrapper has veins and no shine to it. Has a rough appearance and touch. Wrapper smells of wood and floral.
Pre- light: Very light, had a loose draw and has hints of coffee and wood.
First third: Coffee remains and it has hints of spice along with the wood. The draw gets better and the cigar remains mild.
(construction is 0k)
Second third: Wood flavor is dominant at this point, though, it is still mild and doesn't show much character. It is bay far my least favorite cigar...
Once in a while the spice kicked in.
Final third: Spice is a little more prominent yet the flavor of wood remains and I thought I got a hint of earth, I'm not so sure.
Final thoughts: Honestly, I didn't like it. Thought it would be better since I let it age in my humidor for 2 years.
P.S. Uploaded my pictures though I am noticing that they didn't save into my photo library... this means, a new computer ASAP, my computer doesn't memory space anymore, no matter what I keep deleting.
Size: 6" Weather: Cloudy.
Drink: Port Wine
Wrapper has veins and no shine to it. Has a rough appearance and touch. Wrapper smells of wood and floral.
Pre- light: Very light, had a loose draw and has hints of coffee and wood.
First third: Coffee remains and it has hints of spice along with the wood. The draw gets better and the cigar remains mild.
(construction is 0k)
Second third: Wood flavor is dominant at this point, though, it is still mild and doesn't show much character. It is bay far my least favorite cigar...
Once in a while the spice kicked in.
Final third: Spice is a little more prominent yet the flavor of wood remains and I thought I got a hint of earth, I'm not so sure.
Final thoughts: Honestly, I didn't like it. Thought it would be better since I let it age in my humidor for 2 years.
P.S. Uploaded my pictures though I am noticing that they didn't save into my photo library... this means, a new computer ASAP, my computer doesn't memory space anymore, no matter what I keep deleting.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
People actually don't change.
I've been surrounded by many people now in days that are going through break ups and divorces, and these divorces are from people that I least expected.
I thought people changed, but it's just from the outside and it really doesn't affect them from the inside. People grew in a certain way because of the primary's that they have set upon themselves and that stays in you, never moves and it will remain until the day you die. They're exceptions, though, it would have to be such a hard and rough experience that not even you can take yourself the way you are, you can't live with you're own hypocrisy, feelings, thoughts, everything!
The reason I touch this subject it's because those people that I least expected that would get a divorce made me think why is it that they couldn't take it anymore? Didn't they both change and grow as time went by for their relationship to grow?... Some people just knew that their partner just wouldn't change, and even I know that feeling.
I remember in my past relationship, my ex kept on saying that he would change, he promised, he swore and I believed it, but it only last's for only a few weeks. For two people to come in union they must have a common primary, I don't know what those my be, but that's what I have learned and that's the hardest part when you are looking for a committed relationship, those who don't look for a committed relationships look for any kind of people, just as long as they have someone with them.
I know that I'll never change my mind in the fact that I want someone to hold me, to protect me, to share my same future ideals; family. I was born into a world where family is number one on the list and that's how I think... I give a lot and don't ask for anything back, even though sometimes, inside, I beg for something in return, but I don't always get it. It's not in me to claim for something in return, I don't know if that's right or wrong but it's simply the way I am. I know that when I give I'll have something in return, eventually.
Sometimes I don't understand why I'm treated in certain ways with certain people, I just want to give, share what I have in me and only ask in return a small piece from them, but for some it's too much to ask for... As cheesy it may sound, I'm bound to starve for love with whom ever. I have this feeling me that I can't even describe or even put it in words, it's so hard but every time I think of my idea of love I crave for it, I try to have it, I look for it... I neeeeeeed it.
... I hate thinking and feeling that I just won't get that anytime soon. I hope my idea of love exists in someone else whom I can share it with, because it's beautiful.
I must wait, patiently. I'm only 19! And as much as I hate it when adults tell me to just get wild and have fun and not have any serious relationships, I should. Though, I still won't understand how is it that my mom met my dad at my age and married 3 years latter after coming out of a 3 year relationship with an ex boyfriend.
I hate to even admit this but, I miss going out to dinner, dress up nice, feel like there was nothing else in the world but only two people, the candles, music in the background... The good things, the most memorable times of my life I'll be looking for, I won't look for the same person, but yes someone that shares my common interests.
Oh man, what one situation can make you think of.
I know I'm young to think this, and for sure it's even stupid what I'm writing, but it's the closest you can get to a young adults thoughts, at lest mine. I don't like keeping secrets, I really don't. It poisons me in a way.
Oh well, my fellow readers, I am off to bed because in 8 hours I must wake up to do parkour. I missed one week and I already feel weaker... not cool.
I thought people changed, but it's just from the outside and it really doesn't affect them from the inside. People grew in a certain way because of the primary's that they have set upon themselves and that stays in you, never moves and it will remain until the day you die. They're exceptions, though, it would have to be such a hard and rough experience that not even you can take yourself the way you are, you can't live with you're own hypocrisy, feelings, thoughts, everything!
The reason I touch this subject it's because those people that I least expected that would get a divorce made me think why is it that they couldn't take it anymore? Didn't they both change and grow as time went by for their relationship to grow?... Some people just knew that their partner just wouldn't change, and even I know that feeling.
I remember in my past relationship, my ex kept on saying that he would change, he promised, he swore and I believed it, but it only last's for only a few weeks. For two people to come in union they must have a common primary, I don't know what those my be, but that's what I have learned and that's the hardest part when you are looking for a committed relationship, those who don't look for a committed relationships look for any kind of people, just as long as they have someone with them.
I know that I'll never change my mind in the fact that I want someone to hold me, to protect me, to share my same future ideals; family. I was born into a world where family is number one on the list and that's how I think... I give a lot and don't ask for anything back, even though sometimes, inside, I beg for something in return, but I don't always get it. It's not in me to claim for something in return, I don't know if that's right or wrong but it's simply the way I am. I know that when I give I'll have something in return, eventually.
Sometimes I don't understand why I'm treated in certain ways with certain people, I just want to give, share what I have in me and only ask in return a small piece from them, but for some it's too much to ask for... As cheesy it may sound, I'm bound to starve for love with whom ever. I have this feeling me that I can't even describe or even put it in words, it's so hard but every time I think of my idea of love I crave for it, I try to have it, I look for it... I neeeeeeed it.
... I hate thinking and feeling that I just won't get that anytime soon. I hope my idea of love exists in someone else whom I can share it with, because it's beautiful.
I must wait, patiently. I'm only 19! And as much as I hate it when adults tell me to just get wild and have fun and not have any serious relationships, I should. Though, I still won't understand how is it that my mom met my dad at my age and married 3 years latter after coming out of a 3 year relationship with an ex boyfriend.
I hate to even admit this but, I miss going out to dinner, dress up nice, feel like there was nothing else in the world but only two people, the candles, music in the background... The good things, the most memorable times of my life I'll be looking for, I won't look for the same person, but yes someone that shares my common interests.
Oh man, what one situation can make you think of.
I know I'm young to think this, and for sure it's even stupid what I'm writing, but it's the closest you can get to a young adults thoughts, at lest mine. I don't like keeping secrets, I really don't. It poisons me in a way.
Oh well, my fellow readers, I am off to bed because in 8 hours I must wake up to do parkour. I missed one week and I already feel weaker... not cool.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Charles F. Worth
First of, my apologies for not being able to post yesterday, I was really busy doing homework till 12 AM and it was worth hearing today from my teachers lips "very nice" to my sketchbook.
Charles F. Worth was one of my assignments for that class, Fundaments and Fashion History.
Worth was born in England in October 13th, 1826 and died in Paris in March 10th, 1895.
He went to Paris to study the goods, starting off with textiles at a small shop in Paris in 1845, he eventually became the best salesman and opened a small area for only dresses and then became a professional dressmaker. It was then he opened his own firm with a business partner in 1858.
He was an aggressive self-promotion designer, but I'd say the best one of all. He made exquisite dresses for women, it truly is like "almost touching art" (as my teacher said), the details, the fabric, the lining, the design... all of it is so pure. His designs show so much beauty, character, simplicity but all at the same time a one of a kind status.
Just some pictures so you have an idea of what he made.
Those where some of the dresses he made throughout his years, and the upcoming photos are from the "Return of the house of Worth", his last collection.
It was published on Vogue UK, I'll post the link for those who are interested in the article and the pictures. You can magnify them for closer details of the fabrics, lining and sewing.
Vogue UK- Worth
Charles F. Worth was one of my assignments for that class, Fundaments and Fashion History.
Worth was born in England in October 13th, 1826 and died in Paris in March 10th, 1895.
He went to Paris to study the goods, starting off with textiles at a small shop in Paris in 1845, he eventually became the best salesman and opened a small area for only dresses and then became a professional dressmaker. It was then he opened his own firm with a business partner in 1858.
He was an aggressive self-promotion designer, but I'd say the best one of all. He made exquisite dresses for women, it truly is like "almost touching art" (as my teacher said), the details, the fabric, the lining, the design... all of it is so pure. His designs show so much beauty, character, simplicity but all at the same time a one of a kind status.
Just some pictures so you have an idea of what he made.
 |
| I'd totally make that black and white dress my wedding dress. |
Those where some of the dresses he made throughout his years, and the upcoming photos are from the "Return of the house of Worth", his last collection.
It was published on Vogue UK, I'll post the link for those who are interested in the article and the pictures. You can magnify them for closer details of the fabrics, lining and sewing.
Vogue UK- Worth
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Beauty.
Beauty, beauty, beauty... ah, such a hard subject to talk about yet one of the most interesting -in my opinion.
First off... why do women want to feel beautiful? Is it because of self esteem? Status? Ideology?, partly, yes but also no. You see, it all started when women, for instance, Egypt, needed to look beautiful everyday of their lives so when they died they would present themselves just as beautiful in life-after-death, starting from there we can clearly see that people needed to stay beautiful for when it was their time to depart to another life, it's a "doing-it-for" deal, eventually we started making ourselves beautiful for a someone and that someone, for a long time, was for men. Yes, exactly, men! When the world used to be ruled completely by men us women, to be able to accepted and admired, we had to dress to their likes and not dislikes. Sounds ugly, yes, but it happened and it still happens now in days, but now it is an issue of women vs. women... ? Sounds crazy, but yes, we are competing against our same sex, why? because when some women show off what they have to offer to someone else then the other women must show off what she isn't showing off to get a higher score, the competition started for a man but ends up between women, it's a doggy dog world.
Now in days, to be beautiful you have to be successful, have money and be above everyone, in a non sexual way... or maybe that too... ? Never thought about it in that way. Anyways...
That's like one type of beauty we are talking about, war between people using beauty, now... what does beauty do to you? makes you feel happy? makes you feel like if you where high on pot? gets you in shock? takes your breath away?... Beauty is when it sublimes your feelings! Provokes a chain reaction in you, leading you from one thought to another and with every thought you're going through your feelings are each time more sublime, it's like... it doesn't end, you just want more and more, like amazing sex! you can't get enough of it and you want to do so many things with it that you don't even know where to start because of the wave of emotions you're feeling in that instant, and... you'll never forget about it. It encrypts in your brain, stays there, finds it's place, makes a nest and from then on, everyday, we try to look for it, no matter what it is because that's what makes us want to live at fullest (haha, I ran out of breath writing this) and, sadly, it can sometimes be very dangerous to want more from that beauty, it sometimes can lead us to our death, though, in my opinion, if you love doing something and know where is your inspiration coming from then by all means, I'd rather die because of it and not over something that meant nothing to me.
People want to posses beauty to inspire beauty to someone else, to sublime other peoples feelings. A person whom possesses beauty has worlds in their hands, not everyones world because everyone has a different concept of what is beauty, but if their where someone who'd get so close to most of peoples concept of beauty then you are a god/goddess and people would start killing to have it, literally.
Beauty, inspiration for life or death? inspiration for love or hate? inspiration for laughter or sorrow?... beauty is everything in everything with everything.
- Meg
P.S. I'll continue this subject some other time because I know it has great potential.
First off... why do women want to feel beautiful? Is it because of self esteem? Status? Ideology?, partly, yes but also no. You see, it all started when women, for instance, Egypt, needed to look beautiful everyday of their lives so when they died they would present themselves just as beautiful in life-after-death, starting from there we can clearly see that people needed to stay beautiful for when it was their time to depart to another life, it's a "doing-it-for" deal, eventually we started making ourselves beautiful for a someone and that someone, for a long time, was for men. Yes, exactly, men! When the world used to be ruled completely by men us women, to be able to accepted and admired, we had to dress to their likes and not dislikes. Sounds ugly, yes, but it happened and it still happens now in days, but now it is an issue of women vs. women... ? Sounds crazy, but yes, we are competing against our same sex, why? because when some women show off what they have to offer to someone else then the other women must show off what she isn't showing off to get a higher score, the competition started for a man but ends up between women, it's a doggy dog world.
Now in days, to be beautiful you have to be successful, have money and be above everyone, in a non sexual way... or maybe that too... ? Never thought about it in that way. Anyways...
That's like one type of beauty we are talking about, war between people using beauty, now... what does beauty do to you? makes you feel happy? makes you feel like if you where high on pot? gets you in shock? takes your breath away?... Beauty is when it sublimes your feelings! Provokes a chain reaction in you, leading you from one thought to another and with every thought you're going through your feelings are each time more sublime, it's like... it doesn't end, you just want more and more, like amazing sex! you can't get enough of it and you want to do so many things with it that you don't even know where to start because of the wave of emotions you're feeling in that instant, and... you'll never forget about it. It encrypts in your brain, stays there, finds it's place, makes a nest and from then on, everyday, we try to look for it, no matter what it is because that's what makes us want to live at fullest (haha, I ran out of breath writing this) and, sadly, it can sometimes be very dangerous to want more from that beauty, it sometimes can lead us to our death, though, in my opinion, if you love doing something and know where is your inspiration coming from then by all means, I'd rather die because of it and not over something that meant nothing to me.
People want to posses beauty to inspire beauty to someone else, to sublime other peoples feelings. A person whom possesses beauty has worlds in their hands, not everyones world because everyone has a different concept of what is beauty, but if their where someone who'd get so close to most of peoples concept of beauty then you are a god/goddess and people would start killing to have it, literally.
Beauty, inspiration for life or death? inspiration for love or hate? inspiration for laughter or sorrow?... beauty is everything in everything with everything.
- Meg
P.S. I'll continue this subject some other time because I know it has great potential.
Friday, September 3, 2010
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Excited and Nervous.
Well, tomorrow is my first time walking down a runway, we're about 85 people total that will go down the runway... I'm number 74! hahahahaha Oh well, no worry's.
So... I'm very excited, it will something accelerating, everyone watching you or more likely, looking at what you have on. And I'm nervous because I keep on remembering that damn season of Sex and the City when Carrie falls in the middle of the runway -must push that out of my head, wouldn't want to wish it- and it's scares me, btw, it also makes me think: Will I be able to get up and keep walking without turning back?... Fuck yeah, because that's what's life all about.
Well, still not ready to write "Beauty" so, will post it on Sunday =)
Stay tuned.
-Meg
P.S. Picture are to be followed soon...
So... I'm very excited, it will something accelerating, everyone watching you or more likely, looking at what you have on. And I'm nervous because I keep on remembering that damn season of Sex and the City when Carrie falls in the middle of the runway -must push that out of my head, wouldn't want to wish it- and it's scares me, btw, it also makes me think: Will I be able to get up and keep walking without turning back?... Fuck yeah, because that's what's life all about.
Well, still not ready to write "Beauty" so, will post it on Sunday =)
Stay tuned.
-Meg
P.S. Picture are to be followed soon...
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