Reflected.

Through my reflection

I see everyone,

Because we are all one;

Beautiful, Spiritual and Loving.

What do I feel when I design?

A lot of people ask "why do you design?" but they never do ask "what do you feel when you design?" I think it's a rather more profound question.

I think it's far more important the feeling than the vision. It applies with everything; If you have ever played an instrument, you'll know that when you've really got the mood, the music sounds different, in tuned, deeper. Same thing goes with dancing, painting, singing, cooking.

So... what do I FEEL when I design?

Oh man... where to begin?! I feel a flow of emotions, like... a river of happiness and a batter that will never die. Thinking of so many designs, drawing them, choosing fabrics, buttons, smelling muslin aaaaaaaah the SMELL OF MUSLIN! I absolutely love it and I have no idea why... maybe my great grandma lived in muslin and so that's why I love it so much, who knows! haha.

...And when I drape it is just so fantastic. Following the lines of the mannequin, pinning the muslin and the most exciting part is when I put the pieces together, when it's off the mannequin. And then refining the lines, constructing the dress, sewing them, putting them together... the whole process is just amazing!

And when I select the fabric, the bonding of two or three different fabrics must be in perfect harmony in colors and feel and texture of the fabrics.

So, what do I feel when I make my own clothes?
I feel that what ever is made by me has me in it, and when I put that piece of clothing on me, I feel like me. I wear ME.

Wearing me.

Master piece.

Two people, looking for love.

Both get together by a wish, granted by the universe.

Now the couple make a master piece with smiles and kisses.

Illuminated kisses.

Our lips linger together and it tastes like honey.

Our lips united make new beginnings.

For every kiss you give me, my heart illuminates a little more.

Have a coca cola...

Because if your mad, you need one.
Because if you feel bitter inside, you need one.
Because you don't know how to deal with it, you need one.
... But you can always choose to fix it, instead of getting a soda.

Undress me.

Undress me,

I want you to find my heart.

Undress me,

I want you to see who I am.

Undress me,

Love me for what I am.

You've inspired me to...

Remember your soft touch against my skin,

You're soft-gentle breathing near my ear.

So sensitive, to attentive,

Your lips sing to me a thousand words in different languages.

I'm eager to know what language you speak,

every time we kiss.

I lay in bead, deep in sighs

Smiling from the bottom of my heart

The near thought of you,

Looking at me,

Kissing me,

Holding my hand.

Big Changes.

Well... thought I'd share a piece of information of what's going on with me, personally.

One day I just got so bored and aggravated by all the old clothes I still kept, including my bead spread and my curtains.

I threw out pretty close to 3 full garbage bags of clothes alone, though, I didn't throw them away "someones scouring's can be someones treasures", so, I gave them away, which made me very happy. All my clothes were in good conditions to keep on wearing. I threw away jeans, loads of tops that where so juvenile for me (high schoolish), skirts, shorts, pants, dresses, blouses, sweaters, jackets, socks, gloves, hats, scarfs, you name it, I did it.

I have never felt so light weighted, I didn't even think it was possible to feel even MORE light weighted, more likely. Getting rid of all those clothes made me feel like I let go a great deal of the past, something that simply isn't me anymore, I've changed a lot. I remember my mom saying to me when she was going through all the clothes I was getting rid of "Meg, you had so many dark colors, very... sad colors. I'm glad you're getting rid of them." and yeah, she's right, they really where sad colors, hidden. Now I'm going for light blues... mainly pastel colors now, I feel like that now, I'm happy, I'm light, I can breathe, I can think, I can feel... I even burnt what ever I could find that Alfonso had given me and... it felt great! I mean, I did it in a way that I had forgiven us both, and that I wasn't doing it because of hate at all, I was doing it thinking that he was part of my life for a very long time and simply because of that, he is a part of me and he will always be and I can never deny that; I just couldn't save any of it anymore, I need space for the real me, the one that I am finally sub coming to, something I knew I was waiting for but never really admitted it.

So, I guess what I am saying is this...

Don't change because someone has asked you to do it, do it because you want to, because you want to evolve, you want to be healthy. But if you're comfortable in your little dark hole with all your past, dreaming of a future that is mainly your past (again) then stay there, but know that when you feel like getting out of that dark hole I'll be around to send you some light because I'm always there to help. No one is left behind. We're in it together.

"Thinking of your future is like thinking of your past, you don't move from that spot. Live now and let the future be unexpected as it should be."

Moonlight Sonata - Beethoven

A misunderstanding I get from people...

I wear a lot a symbol that I deeply believe in (lately I haven't worn it, but my belief in it persists) and the symbol I am talking about is Ankh, and we all know what it means; Eternal life... it doesn't mean IMMORTALITY a lot of people confuse eternal life with immortality and it's not the same thing. Eternal life, meaning, a life after another life and Immortality means leaving one same life for all eternity, no sickness, no hunger, you get the picture.

Now, my theory about Eternal Life (my own... perhaps someone can identify, if not, feel free to take it at will), I think that eternal life is indeed when you pass on to another life, but not like the Egyptians thought (mummifying and looking beautiful to look the same on your next life), I think you reincarnate as something else; a tree, a bug, an animal, a molecule that forms part of the structure of water or maybe air, THAT'S what I think, that's what I believe in and of course anyone can believe it too if they so please to.

So, no matter what, in the end, you don't die, you just transform into something else =)

That's the symbol, Ankh.

It amazes me...

I'm sorry if this post is lacking more information and is a tad confusing but... I had to get it off my chest.

I don't know about you guys but every time I see fire it always hypnotizes me and always makes me wonder, the consistency, the light, the heat... the world has provided us natural light and heat, to create and shut at will.

I was playing with a candle for more than 2 hours! Not because I was bored, but because every time my eye can't look away from it and what it can do I just stay there and "play". The way it moves, the way it melts the wax, how sometimes a spark comes out of the candle, the tip of the stem bright orange and the rest completely harmless by the blue color of the fire. I don't know... I sometimes am easily amazed by what nature can do and provide us.

I'll lend you my heartbeat to ease your pain.

Who's never been in a situation when you're in dire need of someone though, you're not really expecting that person to say something just rather being there, listening what you have to do or say and in the end, they naturally guide you, they place your ear to their heart. I'm sure they don't even notice that, but it's true.

Countless times we've all felt like that, but every time someone places us on their heart it's like we automatically give in to ease, stillness, it's as if their heart is kissing our very soul, pure awesomeness, pure... LOVE. What gives us life it self brings us to ease, weather you're mad, upset, unease, nervous... it will always calm us down and will even put us to sleep.

I just want to remind everyone that you should never be in doubt when you can't seem to find peace in your life, even if you don't have someone to listen or feel their heartbeat just focus on yours, feel it, heart it, give in to your own beats.

But if someone ever needs a heartbeat, I'll always lend mine, without a doubt.

Foto anónimo.

Fairy Tales.

Fairy tales don't exist. They will never exist.

A prince isn't real.

A princess isn't real.

They don't exist.

They are just conduct figures for society.

The one thing that does exist is,

TRUE LOVE.

What would you do if tomorrow there's no more Facebook?

I know so many people so addicted to facebook because they want to know what's going on in other peoples life's, what they are up to, what are their likes and dislikes, what are they doing in this very moment... it's... tiring.

Speaking for myself and perhaps most people but the first thing I look for when I log into my facebook account is if there's any notifications and I immediately think someone commented on my post and who doesn't like receiving a feedback from something they said? But what most people don't know is that that is exactly what get's you addicted to facebook, because you are feeding your ego with "greatness" and so you keep up with similar posts or if that's not working anymore you look for other things and see if that hits and once again you get back to that "ego throne" and really, you're not doing anything for your self there anymore, or more likely, they try to get "approvals" from other people so that they can feel better about themselves... which is kinda sad. I was a part of that until I realized that it was my ego the whole time that was asking for it and not me-me, I wasn't doing it with purpose anymore, I kept on posting and posting just to get a feedback from someone and it was EXHAUSTING and I know I'm not the only one who felt like that, or some people still feel like that.

I wonder, for those that have huge egos, what would it be like for them if there was no more facebook? Would they like scream to people so that they can be heard, noticed rather than LISTENED? would they try to give out fliers of themselves and yell out "DO YOU LIKE IT? IT'S ME! DO YOU LIKE ME?!"

Damn... take a chill pill. Now, I posted that question on facebook yesterday to get some feedback's, to see if it was something that people have thought of already and I got some responses implying: twittering all day (which is almost the same thing only that in twitter you post even more about your day, your thoughts all that), doing nothing (which makes me think that perhaps he meant that he'll look for something useful to do to fill the emptiness of the ego), go back to Hi5 (even though he said it as a joke I'm pretty sure a lot of people would go back to it too), *loads a shotgun* (well, it's clear, that person is always eager for some sort of attention. Been there, done that, I'm over it already and it wasn't easy) and finally read (I think that's the most positive feedback I've read) I didn't really get so many responses, though it doesn't bother me, it's just enough to develop a small opinion.

Though, it doesn't always have to be bad (the usual *sigh*) it has helped to get jobs, create jobs, promotion, get in contact with really old friends, people you haven't heard in years but other than that, it's just for egos, in the end.

I remember when it was first starting, I had to be accepted by someone who knew me and say that I also attended the "same school" as her. She's Canadian, though, don't need her permission anymore, haha.

No one was on it, so, I didn't really see any purpose to stay so, I deleted my account and when it started to get popular again I reopened my account and started using it again. And pretty much used it just to upload pictures and play weird games... what ever, it wasn't all that fun. Then I let it, well, sort of left it again when I was dating... then I realized that it can really destroy you, by the end of my relationship someone had uploaded a picture of "him" with another girl and that's when I realized that he wasn't in love with me anymore. Of course it hurt. He realized that I saw it and blocked away from me... he anyways lied, facebook is fatal and truthful, sometimes. That's why it's recommended that kids shouldn't add their family or just the parents on their facebook, you say one thing or post something that they don't like and we have a molotov cocktail with the family, luckily, my mom is an opened minded person, though, she knows when to intervene.

Now... what would I do with no facebook? I'd be soooooooooooooooooo relieved. I'd actually finish my homework's on time and even before due date, I'd read a lot more (like I used to before facebook appeared), I'd paint more, draw more, write more (of that I am sure, I've always loved writing, since the first moment my mom taught me how to write my name I was all over writing) I'd be a very happy creature without facebook but even I know I can't bring myself to delete facebook, unless I was willing to leave everything... or most behind me. Someday I will, just, not yet.

I hope most of you have questioned yourself about this, and not just nod your head in agreement or disagreement, what ever may be your opinion. If your unhappy, being so much on facebook, then stay away from it for a while and DO something that you used to love doing! Why not?

Off you go.

Shoe Art.

I was never really a big fan of shoes or bags and the sort, but it wasn't up until 3 years ago maybe when I saw a pair of pirate-like boots, that's when I started falling for shoes. After that I found a pair of Fendi's on discount, black and white stilettos with a platform, about an inch. Ever since, I've been hunting down for unique looking pair of shoes where ever I go, but why not display shoes that are TRULLY unique. Shoes that aren't wearable, haha at least not wearable those that know about fashion. So, here I'll display some shoe-art.

And so on so forth, just google shoe art or funny shoes, etc, you can find anything so... there's a lot. Scatter, have fun.

Andrej Pejic, model.

"One of the top 100 sexiest women of the world... though, according to the other 99 selected women by the magazine FHM"... she's a dude. Not a he she like it has both genders, I mean, he is a HE though, physically he can be transformed with makeup and there you go, we have a woman.

He started off taking orders at McDonald's at age 17, one day the owner of a model agency asks for a burger and asks for Andrej to pass by at their office for an audition. Obviously, they where looking for a male model and so they had sent him to the gym though, a stylist found out that with a dab of makeup he can be transformed into a female model, which is great for a lot of designers, most clothes are made for women really.

Though, he knows that a model career doesn't last long so he knows exactly what career he'd like to study once modeling is over; law or economy.
He is now 19 and turns 20 in August 20th.

A flower in bloom.

As a flower,

desperate to bloom

on a cold night.

A flower may

take longer, 

but a cold night

may not stop the bloom.

She feel's the wind,

She feel's the crawling.

She doesn't ask herself;

why? where? or when?

She only let's it be.

To live the present

is to live forever.

To love now

and those around her

make her grow.

Light and Love.

But you miss him?

Miss him, then.

Send him light and love.

Wish him the best,

but never the less,

live the present.

Live today and love today.

Love yourself and love someone else too.

You're Death.

You're Death.

You decide when and how to part.

No one obliges you to part from this world.

Live as long as you like,

you're in control of your own life.

Do what will and think what you will,

for it is your will that determents you're own path.

Today it's for me.

I don't know why I always feel like watching a romantic movie after feeling like crap with something I know I won't have at the moment or haven't had in a while.

I want love in my life. I desire it very much...

A couple of nights ago I've found out that I keep someone with me to give me emotional satisfaction. But I'm tired already. I hate the fact that if I'm gonna keep that person the way I want to then I want to quit competing all the time, emotionally, esthetically and mentally. It hurts a lot when you know it's not working anymore and it's useless to keep on trying when you know deep down that nothing will happen.
Miracles happen when both believe in it... I alone was believing it for a long time, but nothing.

Today I will stop. End it so that I can heal emotionally and mentally.

Today I will do everything for me.

Ever thine, Ever mine, Ever ours.

I wish I could be your blanket to cover up your body and keep you warm.
I wish I could be your pillow to kiss your face night after night.
I wish I could be the light of the moon that illuminates a piece of your room, just to be next to you.
I wish you'd know who I am and that I'm the only one who really cares for you.

Alway here, when ever you need me.

The Third Letter

Good morning, on July 7 Though still in bed, my thoughts go out to you, my Immortal Beloved, now and then joyfully, then sadly, waiting to learn whether or not fate will hear us - I can live only wholly with you or not at all - Yes, I am resolved to wander so long away from you until I can fly to your arms and say that I am really at home with you, and can send my soul enwrapped in you into the land of spirits - Yes, unhappily it must be so - You will be the more contained since you know my fidelity to you. No one else can ever possess my heart - never - never - Oh God, why must one be parted from one whom one so loves. And yet my life in V is now a wretched life - Your love makes me at once the happiest and the unhappiest of men - At my age I need a steady, quiet life - can that be so in our connection? My angel, I have just been told that the mailcoach goes every day - therefore I must close at once so that you may receive the letter at once - Be calm, only by a calm consideration of our existence can we achieve our purpose to live together - Be calm - love me - today - yesterday - what tearful longings for you - you - you - my life - my all - farewell. Oh continue to love me - never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved. ever thine ever mine ever ours"

-by Ludwig van Beethoven

Gold... ish.

We have different color eyes,
We have different color hair,
We have different color skin.

We have different shapes,
We have different ways of expressing.

But all in all,
We are all from the same species.

Thank you!

To my great grandma... I want to thank you for the inspiration you've brought to me, though, my path is my own path. I am not going the down the same road you took. I'm making my own.

Mom =) You know what I've been going through as of late and I want to send out this message because not only it's way to say what I think but also a way to send out a bigger message, a message to be heard here, out and through out the universe. Thank you for also giving me another inspiration to fashion design, even though some of my greatest designs (the ones that I like the most) don't look like yours and that's because I know that I am doing it for me. I say this with a lot of love, mom, but I need to say that I will finish my career because that's my desire, before I had a small thought in me that I would also end it for you, but I shouldn't because, you DID finish your career in fashion design. I just want to do this on my own, not because of tradition or anything like it.

I love you both, even though I never meet Anabelle, I accept that she has also been at some point of my life an inspiration for me to study this career.

Thank you.

Love, your great granddaughter and daughter, Meg.

P.S. I did corrections to the post... my mom finished her career in fashion design, it was only textile design she didn't finish xD!!! hahahahaha thanks ma.

Imperfection is Perfection.

If you show me that you want to be perfect, upon my eyes you will be the imperfect. Demonstrate me the opposite and you will be perfect.

النقص هو الجمال.

Blind by the light.

There has been a debate weather white is a color. It's said that white is the absence of color but what about those that say that white is purity, meaning, only the TRUTH.

I say truth is the brightness of all color's, so many color's that we aren't able to see them... so pure that it's simply too much for the minor conscious  mind we have. Looking for answers in the wrong places, we think that they are in obvious places, but the obvious places are those that have a simple reason to it... answers are right there before our eyes but we don't them (or refuse to see it) because we are convinced that there should be a bigger reason to it, something to be proven... dissected when really it's very simple. But our minds have been trained over the years to always think things through, think them twice all the time, but you should only let go and let flow. Let it be. You can't force things that aren't meant to happen, if things happen smoothly it's because it was supposed to and because you where opened to it, unconsciously.

I think white is beautiful. Not because of what it has represented over years... or century's, but because it is so great and truthful that no one really likes it. No one these days are truthful to themselves, people try to convince themselves other ideas and to just give in to what they really think or feel.

For those that read this, I propose something to you, readers, painters, writers... Artists, what ever you may be, one day, dress in white and just let things flow and let them be. If you don't like something say it, admit it. If you love something or someone show it! You can't lose anything by admitting to your thoughts and feelings. If anything, you are healing yourself.

Don't be what you don't want to be. Don't convince yourself that you are one thing when you're actually another. Like Kurtcobain once said "I'd rather hate myself for what I am than love myself for what I'm not" he had a great point... and he said it for a very good reason.

So... go on. I dare you to dress in white and let yourself be. BE FREEDOM. Fight for yourself, not for anyone else.

Pass by and smile.

=)

... Speechless to beauty.

Oblivious to the naked eye of a pure animal;
Thou is blue, like the wholly sky,
Thou is white, like a pure light.

To wish to have such beauty is impossible,
To wish to have such instinct is to refuse to pleasure.

But I love my beauty and I love my soul,
I don't wish to love,
I don't wish to feel.
I love.
I feel.
Love who you are and you'll receive what you want.

Soak up the Sun!!

Illuminate my path and my Moon shall respond.

I can now start to see. There IS light in my life. I AM surrounded by light.
Our Sun lights our path so that we won't get lost and the Moon lights our way in darkness.
I can't be more thankful for these wonders of life. They have been set upon us to make the best of ourselves and of nature.

To be in peace with yourself is to love yourself, no matter how much you have and no matter what is it you have to offer others, as long as it's for you and knowing that if it's doing any good for you than it means that you are also helping others.
The one who can understand this knows what I am talking about.

I am going through my metamorphosis. I begin to understand myself and I also begin to free myself by controlling my "beasts".

Let the sun illuminate you.

Illuminate me, I am ready to receive you.
My poor body in darkness,
My poor spirit in ice.
Melt me, so that I can live.
Bring me to light so that I can see with my own eyes.
Save my body.
Save my soul.

Growth.

Now.

The time is now.
I am here.
I do not think the future,
I do not think the past...
I live for today.

Live what you may, today.
Live what you can learn, today.
I fill my own cup,
I fill myself with MYSELF.

I love my silence,
I love my peace.
I live with my thoughts
and most importantly,
I live with infinite mind,
where all creation and birth is conceived.

Abstract paintor, Paul Jenkins.

I never heard of this artist, Paul Jenkins. I stumbled uppon one of his paintings in an old Art History book that mom had and used for her career for Fashion Design in FIT. It's a book that has always been around, a real piece of jelewery, I like to see it that way, thats book is my age, even older, I think it's around 23 years old to 25.

Fact is, I always saw that book and looked at the pictures and all, one day I read a couple of things there and it wasn't till this week that I grabbed it (for the 100th time) this time to actually see the whole thing. I was doing some investigation about Egyptian and Greek culture symbols, I sort of found what I was looking for but not entirely satisfied, even though I found what I needed to with those two cultures, I kept on going, went through Pop Art (I had no idea it had Pop Art, haha) and then I got to a couple of artist's that were familiar to me already and others I had never heard of, like Paul Jenkins.

Why was I so amazed with his art? What called drew my eye to his painting and made me want to look for more?
I think it was the colors he used and the way he applies the color to his canvases, even the movement... It makes me think that there's a free spirit in his paintings, they just flow, float, they "let it be"... so... toucheable and just amusing. If music couple be expressed by colors, it would be his paintings.

A little bit of Paul Jenkins...
His paintngs represent spirit, vitality and invention of post World War II American abstraction. Born in Kansas City, Missouri in 1923. Inspird part by the catalysmic challange of Pollock and the total metaphysical consumption of Mark Tobey.
He had a great interest in eastern religion and philosophy, the study of I Ching, along with the writings of Carl Jung prompted Jenkins turned toward inward reflection and mysticisim which have dominated his aesthetic as well as his life.

I recognize he is a very talented paintor, he's creative, original because you can see right away his signature in his paintings,
His mane passion was watercolor, eventually he moved on to oil painting, arylic, then sculpture, graphics, collage, film and theatre.

I recognize that he is a very talented and unique paintor, in my opinion. I will say that like his paintings better than J. Pollocks. Yes, Pollock's art is communicating something because of the intensity of use of color and the force of of how he splats the paint, but I feel his paintings agressive rather than Pauls, his paintings are soothing, moving, even relaxing... passive! that's the word I'm looking for.

Anyhow... This is his website if some of you guys want to check it out: http://www.pauljenkins.net/

Note: While I was investigating about him, I noticed that when he does sculpture they are usually animals, especially bunnies, the cats and then dogs... some prary dogs amongs others.

Who are you?

If you dare admit, leave a comment. They'll be posted with or without names, you can even leave a riddle, a song that popped out randomly in your computer or the first thing that comes in mind. Ask yourself, who are you.

Who am I?

I'm a "Strangers in the Night"


Strangers in the night exchanging glances
Wond'ring in the night
What were the chances we'd be sharing love
Before the night was through.

Something in your eyes was so inviting,
Something in your smile was so exciting,
Something in my heart,
Told me I must have you.

Strangers in the night, two lonely people
We were strangers in the night
Up to the moment
When we said our first hello.
Little did we know
Love was just a glance away,
A warm embracing dance away and -

Ever since that night we've been together.
Lovers at first sight, in love forever.
It turned out so right,
For strangers in the night.

Love was just a glance away,
A warm embracing dance away - 

Ever since that night we've been together.
Lovers at first sight, in love forever.
It turned out so right,
For strangers in the night.

Do dody doby do 
do doo de la 
da da da da ya


It's one of my favorite songs from Frank Sinatra. Never expected that song to pop up to my question.

Tatuaje Havana VI. Cigar review as I smoke.

First off. Thank you, Joe, for bombing me on June 2009 with this magnificent cigar amongst others :) Yes, I let it age for a year and a half.

The day is sunny with a little breeze to cool you down under this hot sun. No sign of any clouds.

No beverage to accompany my cigar, just a home-made cookie that my mom baked this morning :)

Hermosos- Corona Gorda

Origin: Nicaragua

Wrapper: Habano Ecuador

Binder and Filler: Nicaragua

5 5/8" x 46

Start time: 1:22 PM

First third:

Draw is perfect. No need to draw hard nor light at the same time. The smoke is creamy and the first notes were of tobacco. It has it's own hints of spice, not sure what it is yet, but I'm sure I'll get to it... 

The ash has a beautiful palette of grays. Though, the cigar is burning unevenly which can only mean that I haven't smoked in a very long time to loose that practice.

I'm starting to get stronger hints of spice... still trying to figure out what it is.

I'm a small debate weather I'm tasting wood or earth... could be both in a perfect synchronization. I'll figure it out. All in all, it's a medium strength cigar, I don't think it'll over power.

I have an inch of ash so far... 

Left the cigar for about 5 mins because my mom came back home and got pissed thinking that we would clean the kitchen so I got up there, cleaned ASAP came back to my cigar and it was off :( Had to loose the inch of ash to fire it up again, which gave me a chance to fill up my torch.

Second third:

Entering this phase the draw get's a tad tighter. It's still light yet I get the hints of spice and wood (I'm sure it's wood). I'm pretty sure I taste pepper, I think that's the spice I'm looking for.

Dunno if it's me but I get an after taste of some kind of nut.

Random thought: Can't stop looking at the plumb blossom that's in front of me. The blossoms are too damn gorgeous.

The cigar held another inch of ash, then fell. The flavor is still mild, the hint of pepper showing up now and then.

Last third:

Pretty much the same thing... 

Wood remained and the pepper was still present. It got spicier towards the end.

All in all, it was very enjoyable cigar. It maintained a very good status and had a great flavor throughout the way.

End time: 4:20 PM

The art of writing by hand.

Many people don't find it pleasing to write by hand now in days and that makes me wonder if it's because they don't like to write what they have in mind, they have a short vocabulary or because they're lazy?

People are getting worse everyday in their way of thinking, their common sense, their effort to learn new words and how to write down their own ideas in order... all this technology; text messaging, computer chat, emails, the programs that we use to do homework for school and use the "ABC" function because we don't even know if we are writing the word correctly, but even like that, I know so many people that by even using the "ABC" function, they still have errors all over their notes because they don't know how to express themselves anymore.

... Why?

With all the technological process's, trying to make tasks easier to do everyday, people little by little forget about the true art of writing and mainly, they have lost touch with their ideas and sentiments.

It´s not the same writing an email than writing a letter and sending it via postal. And if you think it is, you are wrong. In an email you can fake expressions and emotions all the time, you don't know if that person is actually happy or sad, perhaps that person is writing one way but in reality they are writing in a different way, a way that you wouldn't expect. "Why are you mad at me?" "I'm not mad at you, I'm just being realistic. I'm sad too" "I don't believe you" How many of you guys have gone through something like that via text messaging , emailing or chatting? I bet most of you can relate. Isn't it annoying?! I hate it! I want to express myself they way I am feeling but the damn virtual world won't allow it! That's how misunderstandings start too and that's how terrorist leave no trace of who'm wrote "the message"... Is technology really for the good?

Cursive writing (a.k.a joined up writing or running writing) It was used since the 17th century and was always esthetically beautiful and admirable when someone wrote in joined up writing, and till the day, people admire very much those who still write that way. I know very few people who still write in joined up writing and oddly, they are people that I love being with, at least the ones that write similar to my hand writing.

I don't know if people know this but showing your hand writing reveals sentiments, your true thoughts, your true self... People are giving up in thinking their situations through.

What will happen when more than half of the world population doesn't know how to write anymore? Will they be inexpressive and more confused than ever of what they think or feel?

Writing by hand is vital. You are in touch with your thoughts and feelings. It isn't the same writing "I hope to see you soon" by computer than writing it by hand. In fact, write that sentence by hand and then type it in the computer. Does it read the same? Does it give out the same message -meaning, emotional wise- when you read it? Of course not. Type writing is the most neutral and systematic way to send out a message. To know what the person is saying emotionally -more or less- then you have to know the person, other wise, if you don't know that person you read it completely different.

I agree that type writing has it's advantage, such as: clean writing, easier to read, straight lines, maintaining one size or angle or thickness, yet, it won't show your true expressions.

I hope that cursive writing never disappears or else, people will be inexpressive in human form.

It's just what I think, anyone can have their own theory's or beliefs.

Cherry Blossom.

I don't know why I am drawn to this beautiful cherry blossom tree. Pink isn't usually my favorite color, it has always been a color that I have despised, but I assume that I like it because it is a suitable color for a suitable flower; delicate, small blossoms, innocent, perfect in it's own way. So beautiful when the sun lights the tree, giving a unique glow and softness color to the human eye, and when the moonlight illuminates the tree, it seams as if it where frozen, pale, radiant for the beautiful night to come, a night of which no ones what happens except for the wind and the trees.

I wish to be a cherry blossom, small as I am, small I shall ever be. Never want to harmed by those whom surround me. Never want to be corrupted by those that wish to break me. I am one in broad daylight, and another in the darkness of the day.

                                       Cherry Blossoms Adrift by Mary Fumento

                                                                                            (1999)

Pink petals passing Scents above so high Painted porcelain perfection Blossoms caress the sky Swaying silent shroud Suitors strolling by Pink petals passing Lover's gentle sigh Pastel hues falling Slow fluttering grace Pink petals passing Lining streams in lace Pink petals passing Smoothest transit by Soft essence floating In most subtle lullaby Inducing springtime slumber Upon a satin shore Sailing with the current Pink petals pass before.

Is it optimism or the "new year"?

Today I was happy to see the sun shine, not so much of a shine, or rather, brightness. It's still a winter sun shine, the brightness doesn't hurt your eyes, it's a kind of pale yellow, giving a nice glow to the trees, grass and water... I'd like to say, even the street looked beautiful. I simply felt happy inside today.

I thought of smoking a cigar today, which I did, but not till later. I had a great meal with my parent's, just the two of them, my sister had gone out to see a friend. I don't have the car with me when my sister is here with us. Even though I had the cramps today, I powered it through and kept myself positive for the day.

I'm not sure why I am happy... maybe it's because I've been in touch with old friends, even found and dug up old friends I haven't known about for more than 3 to 5 years maybe... could be more. People change so much during that time, especially the ones I've known since they where maybe 5-8 years old; their faces change so much, their voices and their personalities are well formed. We are all adults now. We are all headed some where, who knows if it'll be together or separate.

Who knows, this year does feel right for me. It's been a while since I've felt this happy inside, I mean, I was happy before but I really crashed the last few months that where left in 2010 and I know why, I was missing someone in my life, someone I won't bother to mention in this blog. Though, hopefully I have cried my tears for that person, the ones that where allowed for him, I hope now that I can move on, and now that I see him, because I know will, somewhere, I shall smile and only remember the happy moments he gave me because he did give me happy memories, and those are the ones I should always keep in my heart, not the sad parts, not the ones that gave me pains, not the ones that have wounded me, there's no point in keeping those in your heart, but I shall keep those as a lesson to learn.

People come into our lives for a purpose, they are there to set a new mission or people come back to complete a mission, a mission thou we shall never know or expect, not even the know until they experience it. They are there for a reason, and we get those people in our lives depending on what we ask for, even if it's unconscious. Beware for what you wish for, you'll never know if it'll come true.

I woke up today feeling that there is something big waiting for me this year, not very common for me to feel that. I am expecting something that I have no idea what implies, but that's ok, I love being taken by surprise.

Today, I was looking at my cork board, and I was looking at some images I pasted there and saw in the corner, hidden :What do I want?. And I put images of different style lofts from NYC, I put them because I've always wanted an apartment in NYC, a loft, and then I put images of different dresses from different designers. I put those images as a principal, though, then I knew what I wanted the most, I wanted love, so I grabbed a heart post-it (corny, I know) and wrote " Love" :) hopefully, I'll get that sooner rather than later, but if it does come later, it's for a reason.

Anyhow, moving on with my day, I had a fantastic cigar while I was chatting live with some of those I'd like to call now, friends, that also smoke cigars. I had a Don Pepin Garcia, Black Label, was missing maybe 4 months to let it age for a year, though, for the time being, it was fantastic. It was a robusto, though, I am still a little confused with the color difference between colorado maduro and maduro, though, I think it was a colorado maduro because it had a rich-medium flavor and was very aromatic. It was so mild and creamy, I didn't want it to end, flavors of coffee, earth, wood and hinting spice here and there, it was wonderful. The balance between them was perfect. Construction was good, not great, but it did stand an inch of ash each time and inch would fall. There was a couple of veins pronounced and there was no shine/oil to the wrapper. Different than my usual cigar. All in all, I wish I had another one.

That was my day. Was brief in activities, but it was enough for me. I didn't have to find excuses to do something today, I just went with it.

So, my advice tonight for what ever day you need it: Just go with the flow if you don't know what to do to distract yourself, because that is what we do these days, we look for something to distract ourselves from being with our thoughts.