Today I was happy to see the sun shine, not so much of a shine, or rather, brightness. It's still a winter sun shine, the brightness doesn't hurt your eyes, it's a kind of pale yellow, giving a nice glow to the trees, grass and water... I'd like to say, even the street looked beautiful. I simply felt happy inside today.
I thought of smoking a cigar today, which I did, but not till later. I had a great meal with my parent's, just the two of them, my sister had gone out to see a friend. I don't have the car with me when my sister is here with us. Even though I had the cramps today, I powered it through and kept myself positive for the day.
I'm not sure why I am happy... maybe it's because I've been in touch with old friends, even found and dug up old friends I haven't known about for more than 3 to 5 years maybe... could be more. People change so much during that time, especially the ones I've known since they where maybe 5-8 years old; their faces change so much, their voices and their personalities are well formed. We are all adults now. We are all headed some where, who knows if it'll be together or separate.
Who knows, this year does feel right for me. It's been a while since I've felt this happy inside, I mean, I was happy before but I really crashed the last few months that where left in 2010 and I know why, I was missing someone in my life, someone I won't bother to mention in this blog. Though, hopefully I have cried my tears for that person, the ones that where allowed for him, I hope now that I can move on, and now that I see him, because I know will, somewhere, I shall smile and only remember the happy moments he gave me because he did give me happy memories, and those are the ones I should always keep in my heart, not the sad parts, not the ones that gave me pains, not the ones that have wounded me, there's no point in keeping those in your heart, but I shall keep those as a lesson to learn.
People come into our lives for a purpose, they are there to set a new mission or people come back to complete a mission, a mission thou we shall never know or expect, not even the know until they experience it. They are there for a reason, and we get those people in our lives depending on what we ask for, even if it's unconscious. Beware for what you wish for, you'll never know if it'll come true.
I woke up today feeling that there is something big waiting for me this year, not very common for me to feel that. I am expecting something that I have no idea what implies, but that's ok, I love being taken by surprise.
Today, I was looking at my cork board, and I was looking at some images I pasted there and saw in the corner, hidden :What do I want?. And I put images of different style lofts from NYC, I put them because I've always wanted an apartment in NYC, a loft, and then I put images of different dresses from different designers. I put those images as a principal, though, then I knew what I wanted the most, I wanted love, so I grabbed a heart post-it (corny, I know) and wrote " Love" :) hopefully, I'll get that sooner rather than later, but if it does come later, it's for a reason.
Anyhow, moving on with my day, I had a fantastic cigar while I was chatting live with some of those I'd like to call now, friends, that also smoke cigars. I had a Don Pepin Garcia, Black Label, was missing maybe 4 months to let it age for a year, though, for the time being, it was fantastic. It was a robusto, though, I am still a little confused with the color difference between colorado maduro and maduro, though, I think it was a colorado maduro because it had a rich-medium flavor and was very aromatic. It was so mild and creamy, I didn't want it to end, flavors of coffee, earth, wood and hinting spice here and there, it was wonderful. The balance between them was perfect. Construction was good, not great, but it did stand an inch of ash each time and inch would fall. There was a couple of veins pronounced and there was no shine/oil to the wrapper. Different than my usual cigar. All in all, I wish I had another one.
That was my day. Was brief in activities, but it was enough for me. I didn't have to find excuses to do something today, I just went with it.
So, my advice tonight for what ever day you need it: Just go with the flow if you don't know what to do to distract yourself, because that is what we do these days, we look for something to distract ourselves from being with our thoughts.
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