"There's a hole in my soul"

Title is a song from Aerosmith.

I don't know how to start this... this morning I woke up with anger and with emptiness. I got that strange feeling in my stomach where I feel desperate to do something, and not in the way to get something but more likely to get rid of something. I don't know... I haven't gotten this feeling in a long time. It's like the feeling you get when someone broke up with you and after that you either want to destroy things or cry... and I don't want to cry, I want to break things, for some reason.

I don't know what I am doing to fill my emptiness, but I want it gone. I just want change already... I want progress in something in my life already and I don't seem to be getting anywhere where I want to get to.
I want to meet more new people, I want to have a heck of a time... I fucking tired of staying my house doing this stupid project... I want something real already.

Before, I didn't think it was all that amazing the song Help!- The Beatles... but I can identify myself with it right now.

Help, I need somebody,
Help, not just anybody,
Help, you know I need someone, help.

When I was younger, so much younger than today,
I never needed anybody's help in any way.
But now these days are gone, I'm not so self assured,
Now I find I've changed my mind and opened up the doors.

Help me if you can, I'm feeling down
And I do appreciate you being round.
Help me, get my feet back on the ground,
Won't you please, please help me?

And now my life has changed in oh so many ways,
My independence seems to vanish in the haze.
But every now and then I feel so insecure,
I know that I just need you like I've never done before.

Help me if you can, I'm feeling down
And I do appreciate you being round.
Help me, get my feet back on the ground,
Won't you please, please help me.

When I was younger, so much younger than today,
I never needed anybody's help in any way.
But now these days are gone, I'm not so self assured,
Now I find I've changed my mind and opened up the doors.

Help me if you can, I'm feeling down
And I do appreciate you being round.
Help me, get my feet back on the ground,
Won't you please, please help me, help me, help me, oh. 


... I think I do need someone.