I wonder sometimes, wether I'm not meant to love someone for now to regain my strength to love someone else again after 2 years being with someone else.
I don't know how many rose pedals I have left nor do I know how much time I have left till someone gets to me and sets me free. I know I'm not following entirely like the story, but that's why I say that I feel like the rose, trapped.
I wonder sometimes if my true love is here or out of México. I always said that I would like to marry an italian, but it was just because I wanted to keep up with the italian blood in the family but I don't feel it in my gut. I doubt I'll marry an italian.
I know life gives us sign's but sometimes it feels like it's just tricking me all the time. First I think there's hope and then, some how, in a way, I just don't understand, it gets lost in the mist with no explanation or warning.
I know I'm not giving anything from me right now to anyone, and I know why, I'm scared of getting hurt again. Pain was so deep that I'm afraid to express how I feel... just thinking of this and writing down my thoughts about it makes a knot in my throat. But there's also another reason why I'm holding back and it's because there isn't anyone who will give me anything. I won't blame them, giving yourself completely to someone isn't easy nor the surest thing sometimes, but how will we know if we belong to that someone if we don't give ourselves? Fall, get up, live again... love. The ride is worth the adventure and lessons we learn along the way.
I hope this phase doesn't last long. I think it's been the longest time I've been without a boyfriend ever since I had my first. Though, I know I'm not rushing for one, that I know for sure. I don't feel desperate to look for one.
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