...To dance again and forever more.

Some people say that when you love someone, you should say it as many times as you can and loud so that they can hear you, but other's would rather keep it to themselves because of what could happen.

I am stuck in the middle. I wish I can say how much I love that person, but my reason gets in the way, as usual.

Keeping this brief, I wish to open my heart once again, and to someone that doesn't correspond to me. All this wishful thinking is killing me, I'm too optimistic to even think that that person will realize, someday, that he will love me the same way that I do...

I just want to get over with this. I don't want to leave this up to time because I don't trust in time anymore... it's just a waste.

I wish I can just send out the signal of how I am feeling and hopefully he can pick it up, feel it, understand it... I want to dance again and forever more.

City of the Dead.

I found an old notebook where I used to write my poetry, brings some memory's, I tell you that much. Many of them I didn't remember at all and couldn't believe that I wrote them, though, there was one that I loved so much that I even had to make a song to go with it; yes, I composed the song in piano... I wish I still remembered the notes, but I've forgotten. But I did record it once so, hopefully, some day, I can get back to it, maybe re-write it, make it better, though, it's not half bad.

Anyway, here it is... the poem, hehe. Hope you guys like it.

City of the Dead.

Weep not for me, my friends so dear.

I am not dead, just sleeping here.

My grassy bed, my grave you see.

Prepare for life to follow me.

We see our friends are around us falling.

We see them buried deep in dust.

In solemn silence yet they're calling.

Prepare for death, for die you must.

A law eternal does decree

that all things born should mortal be.

Though worms my poor body

may claim as their prey,

Twill outshine when rising

the sun at midday.

Be wise ye living while you may

Prepare against the coming day

When you as low as I must lay

Your souls from hence be called away.

Now deep in earth this bed of sighs,

I wait till i, like fire, shall rise.

In latter days, the healing rain

shall wash away these tears of pain.

Then will my voice in great goodbye's

join to the chorus of the skies.

Rose.

Been thinking, and perhaps it's just a phase but, I can't help but feel sometimes that I'm the flower trapped in the glass case from the story Beauty and the Beast; In bloom, beauty, rich and colorful in red, but no one will set me free. I'm alone and trapped with no one to share my love with.

I wonder sometimes, wether I'm not meant to love someone for now to regain my strength to love someone else again after 2 years being with someone else.

I don't know how many rose pedals I have left nor do I know how much time I have left till someone gets to me and sets me free. I know I'm not following entirely like the story, but that's why I say that I feel like the rose, trapped.

I wonder sometimes if my true love is here or out of México. I always said that I would like to marry an italian, but it was just because I wanted to keep up with the italian blood in the family but I don't feel it in my gut. I doubt I'll marry an italian.

I know life gives us sign's but sometimes it feels like it's just tricking me all the time. First I think there's hope and then, some how, in a way, I just don't understand, it gets lost in the mist with no explanation or warning.

I know I'm not giving anything from me right now to anyone, and I know why, I'm scared of getting hurt again. Pain was so deep that I'm afraid to express how I feel... just thinking of this and writing down my thoughts about it makes a knot in my throat. But there's also another reason why I'm holding back and it's because there isn't anyone who will give me anything. I won't blame them, giving yourself completely to someone isn't easy nor the surest thing sometimes, but how will we know if we belong to that someone if we don't give ourselves? Fall, get up, live again... love. The ride is worth the adventure and lessons we learn along the way.

I hope this phase doesn't last long. I think it's been the longest time I've been without a boyfriend ever since I had my first. Though, I know I'm not rushing for one, that I know for sure. I don't feel desperate to look for one.

Cigar Review: Diesel torpedo.

Well, the weather was nice, it wasn't as cool as other days so I thought I take a smoke outside where there was fresh cool air, a November sun and pretty much just nature company.

This fantastic cigar was sent to me on November 20th of 2009 (yes... I let it sit for a year, well, it was just days away from being a year) by a fantastic BOTL member username Strife.

Alright, let's get started, shall we?

Diesel torpedo 5x56

Wrapper: Oscuro

Drink: Black Tea

We can expect already that this cigar will be a full bodied cigar by the wrapper. The color of the wrapper indicates the leaves that where used for rolling and methods. Each type of wrapper gives a unique taste and flavor to the cigar.

This cigar, by being an oscuro (the darkest wrapper you can get) we can tell that the leaf of the cigar was left on the plant to ferment at it's fullest.

Pre-light: There was no shine to the wrapper and barely had veins. There was hints of wood, earth and tobacco.

There was hints of pepper and some type of nut. Perfect draw and creamy smoke.

1/3

Hint's of pepper and wood, I think I detect a little bit of leather and earth. Ash has a beautiful color and construction.

Flavor's eased up into a more soother, creamy flavor, preserving it's strong attitude and personality. I eventually got a hint of flowers.

Thoughts: It's amazing how you can detect flowers as a flavor rather than just a scent. We all eat through smell too, that's why some people, when they have been around food for too long they get full and don't feel like eating.

Earth and leather persist with that small hint of flowers to ease it a little.

So far, I had one inch of ash, white and toasty at the foot of the cigar, revealing faint lines of the veins it has. Not bending anywhere but straight, revealing a firm and perfect construction and even the smoke pace.

The cigar is a natural, it reveals it self very much alive and fresh.

2/3

Earth kicks in stronger this time, starting to reveal it's true power through this 2/3 of the cigar.

Got hint's of leather at this point, overpowering the rest of the flavors, although I got lot's of spice. This cigar is all about spice at this point, getting the occasional pepper here and there, not letting forget it self.

Thoughts: I loved smoking this cigar by myself. I heard the small fountain in my pond, the sun was so beautiful, revealing a smooth color to the trees; dark yellows, oxidized colors... Autumn is my favorite season of the year. Every time I took a puff from the cigar I heard how the wrapper crackled in a very tranquil manner.

Towards the end of the 2/3 I got pepper again coming in stronger and sophisticated.

Ash fell at 1"1/2

3/3

Hints of pepper and wood. Nice combination for my palette. Black tea did it's job very well by toning down the strong flavors once in a while, but not overpowering it so that I didn't know what was I tasting in the cigar.

Tasted leather and wood for a while and eventually loads of pepper and wood, though, not in a uncomfterable way.

Over all, good cigar. Didn't loose my interest in it and always kept me looking for the flavors.

It's a recommendable cigar by the fact that it isn't a long smoke, it'll take you an hour or so to smoke the cigar if you where to smoke at my pace. 

Thank you for reading =)

Rankin and some questions about... lingerie.

I apologize for not posting on wednesday... thing's got a little tight that day.

On Tuesday I went to a gallery where Rankin's work was exposed, well, more than anything, he's photographs.

Let me say something here, Rankin has the best eye sight I have ever met and seen. He has the broadest vision in scenery, color, movement, space, time, angles  and how he wants to transmit his message.

I am still astonished and amazed, I can't seem to get over it, it was just amazing! Some of his pictures made me feel incredibly happy, other's where very seductive and lastly... I almost did cry in one of the pictures I saw. I don't know how he does it, but in every picture he has taken he always captures the intensity of someone's gaze or smile... even the history that lies behind their eyes, what they have gone through.

These are some of the category's that I liked most, though, you can always check out the other category's:
note: images are protected ;)


Overview
Fashion
Beauty
Lingerie

Now that's I've posted the ones I've liked the most, well, at least more in those category's, I remembered as soon as I posted "lingerie", why do we women love wearing the sexiest lingerie that we can find? Is it because it really makes us feel sexy or beautiful, even though no one else is seen it? Is it the only time where we can feel confident, sexy, beautiful and irresistible without a man's admiration?

Poesia de Griselda Álvarez "Anatomía Superficial"

Ojo

"Falto de voz usurpas el idioma
y es tal la galanura de tu invento
que para hablar te basta en el momento
el fugaz giro que un segundo toma.

Después de muerto, miras. Te asoma
toda la nulidad del pensamiento.
Y por el pozo de tu abatimiento
el paisaje del mundo se desploma.

Pero vivo te crece en la pupila
la vida como cálido aleteo
y todo símbolo por ti desfila.

y toda imagen funda su deseo.
Hombre vidente que la luz perfila,
cíclope si tan próxima te veo."

Neil Gaiman Fans.

If you're a fan of Neil Gaiman, even though you just know that he wrote Coraline and Stardust, or you are just finding out right now that Neil Gaiman is the author of those books, and if you loved 'em then you should also read he's collection of short story's, Smoke and Mirrors.

There's this short story called "The Price", a battle between good and evil, thus the cat represents the good, protection, the fighter, etc. It is a fantastic story.

Now, what I am trying to say...

There's a man, a man called Christopher Salmon who is a huge fan of Neil Gaiman and thinks that all his novels that are turned into animations/films, they should be just like the novel, because the novel, as it is, is perfect the way it is.

Christopher Salmon is making a short animated film of The Price, which is coming out incredible! He is being loyal and faithful to Neil's true story, using (kudos!) Neil as the narrator.

Here below is the link to the film and also Neil's blog. Enjoy!

http://journal.neilgaiman.com/2010/11/price-of-price.html

Cigar Review: Tat Drac

Happy Halloween!!… well, it was supposed to be for that day, but I had posted something else, non the less, I did smoke that cigar in Halloween with my dad xD

Pictures are "meh" so, I apologize.
________________________________________________
Tat Drac: 7x52    Drink: Coffee with cream.

Shine to the wrapper, dark color with hints of tobacco and pepper.

Pre-light: Coffee and Pepper as maine notes. Firm construction and perfect draw.

1/3
Pepper and wood are dominant for the time being and hints of coffee, though, I'm a tad confused with that flavor, I'm not entirely sure if it's the cigar or because I've had a sip of coffee. The smoke eventually eases to a smoother taste.
So far: 1" 1/2 of ash.

2/3
Eased out to coffee flavor (like I said before, it could have been my drink… I should just stick to Port Wine). There's pepper and wood and some type of nut.
Pepper kicks in harder eventually but is very well paired with my coffee to give it a perfect balance in flavors.

3/3
Wood is still there but not as dominant anymore at this point. Smooth coffee flavor and pepper once in a while.

First ash broke off at 1" 1/2, then another inch broke... don't remember how long the other one was.

Thoughts while smoking the cigar:
"Rather than dancing like fire, I dance like smoke; smooth and low key, not really calling for attention. Only few can appreciate me."
_______________________________________________
Earlier that same day I smoked my pipe. Been a very long time since I've smoked my pipe. I was able to light it much better this time with very few tongue bite's. Sometimes you just feel like having a smoke or just spend quality time with yourself, lost in thought, enjoying a tobacco that doesn't require much critic. It was very enjoyable.

My thoughts in that moment: "Seek for what you already have and love for what is to come."